I Love You More as You Were Then

In prayer, God shows me, one by one, the pains of the past I have come through.
Myself at every truly hard moment, praying and shedding tears;
I sang praise at the top of my voice.
And the songs of praise I sang each of those times…
“Do you know why I showed you those times when you struggled the most?”
“God, it is so hard for me to look back on those times.”
“Even so, I love you most as you were whenever things were hard, relying wholly on me.
More than you as you are now, I love the one who relied on me completely and prayed with tears:
you, as you were then.”

I could not say a single word.

“Over and over I tell the people of Israel about the time they came out of Egypt, and the time they crossed the Red Sea,
again and again, so that they will not forget what happened then,
because I love the way they relied on me completely.
Do not forget that time.
You are who you are now because of those days.
Just as Israel exists because of that time when they lived by faith…”

God’s heart reaches me, warm:
God, who knows the pain of his children crying out in hardship and suffering
and still longs to be loved by his children.
God does not change… but people always change.
Me, pleading in tears because life was hard;
me, clinging to God alone because I could not know tomorrow;
he makes me sing the hymns I sang in tears then, and tells me not to forget,
saying he loves the way I looked so wholly to him alone…
So sorry and so thankful to God, I pray in tears
that he would give me, too, a love that never changes, like his…