When Sin Forgives Sin

23After two full years, Absalom had sheep shearers in Baal Hazor, which is beside Ephraim: and Absalom invited all the king’s sons. 24Absalom came to the king, and said, “See now, your servant has sheep shearers. Please let the king and his servants go with your servant.” 25The king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go, lest we be burdensome to you.” He pressed him; however he would not go, but blessed him. 26Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” The king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” 27But Absalom pressed him, and he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him. 28Absalom commanded his servants, saying, “Mark now, when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine; and when I tell you, ‘Strike Amnon,’ then kill him. Don’t be afraid. Haven’t I commanded you? Be courageous, and be valiant!” 29The servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and every man got up on his mule, and fled. 30While they were on the way, the news came to David, saying, “Absalom has slain all the king’s sons, and there is not one of them left!” 31Then the king arose, and tore his garments, and lay on the earth; and all his servants stood by with their clothes torn. 32Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, answered, “Don’t let my lord suppose that they have killed all the young men the king’s sons; for Amnon only is dead; for by the appointment of Absalom this has been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar. 33Now therefore don’t let my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king’s sons are dead; for only Amnon is dead.”

The world is full of sin. If we live as slaves of sin in such a world, we may feel comfortable for the moment, since there is no spiritual clash. But sin always ends in death, so we must abstain from every form of it.

The death Scripture speaks of is the eternal second death, that is, eternal punishment. Eternal life and eternal punishment have this in common: neither has an appointed end; both last forever.

Eternal life and eternal punishment share one thing more: Jesus Christ. Whoever does not receive Christ will suffer eternal punishment; whoever receives Jesus Christ will be given eternal life to enjoy. Through the blood of Jesus we have been set free from being servants of sin and made servants of righteousness; yet unless we fulfill our duty as people of faith, we cannot be free from Satan’s attacks. So we must always be careful.

Even David, so full of faith, fell into sin when he turned his eyes toward the world for a moment, and that tells us how strong Satan’s attack is. The affair with Bathsheba was the one sin David committed against God. Set against the many years he labored to keep faith, it might even be called a very small mistake; yet from the Bathsheba affair on, David became an entirely different man.

God does not weigh sin by how often or how gravely it is committed; he always looks at the faith a person holds now. We must, then, work to hold a sound faith. Depending on the faith David held as king of Israel, God could be Israel’s king—or be reduced to a god like an idol. In the same way, depending on your faith, God may be your king, or he may become just one among the gods the world believes in. If you do not truly serve and worship God, he will have no choice but to cancel his plan to save the people of the world through you.

Sadly, David’s greed and lust for Bathsheba drove God from the throne. God was betrayed by the David he had truly loved. David’s betrayal made God an object of Satan’s mockery, and many souls who joined in that sin fell into hell.

The sin David committed affected the faith and lives of his children. Watching his children lie and murder, David perhaps only then understood a little of God’s heart—how God must have grieved, looking at him fallen into the pit of corruption.

Deuteronomy 17:17

17He shall not multiply wives to himself, that his heart not turn away. He shall not greatly multiply to himself silver and gold.

In every age, people have made marriages of alliance for their own security. David, too, married the daughters of many nations to keep the peace. When he disobeyed God’s command and took many wives and concubines for his own security, idols eventually came in through these women, and he fell spiritually. Besides Bathsheba, David took many more wives and had children by them, and Satan fixed his eye on those children.

Before Satan attacks a believer, he studies how they have lived so far, what fruit of the world they cherish most, and what they want to hide, and then he strikes at their weakest point. So we must lean on the Holy Spirit and give Satan no opening. In war, for instance, if a king sees that the north wall is weak, he will station more soldiers there than anywhere else. However good a life we live, we have weak places, and the Holy Spirit guards those places to shield us from Satan’s attack.

But David gave himself over to lust so far that the Holy Spirit could no longer help him. His sin broke his relationship with God, and he could no longer hold his children safe; so he could not ward off Satan’s fierce attack on them. We must understand how deeply the sin of parents affects their children.

2 Samuel 13:1-2

1After this, Absalom the son of David had a beautiful sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. 2Amnon was so troubled that he became sick because of his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and it seemed hard to Amnon to do anything to her.

A marriage of alliance weighs only gain and loss, so it carries the seeds of trouble; even so, David married the princesses of many nations. The woman who bore Absalom and Tamar was from Geshur, the princess of a small independent kingdom on the upper Jordan. David married those princesses to grow richer and stronger, but because they were people who worshiped idols, they ended up bringing him grief.

Amnon, Absalom’s half brother, was the firstborn of Ahinoam of Jezreel. This firstborn son came to love Absalom’s sister Tamar. But it was not true love; it was an evil heart that, like David’s, coveted his half sister out of human lust. Tamar had guarded her purity all her life and had all the dignity and beauty anyone could ask of a princess. And beside Amnon, who wanted her, stood a crafty man named Jonadab.

Jonadab showed Amnon a very easy way out of his trouble. He told Amnon to lie in bed as if he were ill; when David came to visit, he was to lie that he had been unable to eat anything and beg that his sister Tamar make him something with her own hands. Deceived by Amnon, David did in fact command Tamar to make cakes for her brother to eat. With his father’s permission in hand, Amnon followed Jonadab’s scheme to be alone with Tamar in his chamber and sent out everyone who could have protected her. Cutting a vulnerable woman off from her protectors like this is the world’s way. We know it is because God keeps the weak close to protectors who can help them, while Satan isolates them completely and leads them into danger.

Jonadab was the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, and a man of outstanding wisdom.

Sadly, he used that outstanding wisdom to devise a crafty scheme. Look at those who deceive others with lies and use wicked devices to ruin souls, and you will see that many of them possess considerable wisdom. Had Jonadab used such wisdom to reveal God’s glory and to save lives, he would not have stood at the center of a murder. Had he given Amnon kinder and wiser counsel, this tragedy would probably never have happened. And yet, had David not committed adultery with Bathsheba or killed Uriah, his children would not have lived such unhappy lives.

Every misfortune has its seed. Only if we pull up every such seed before it puts down roots can misfortune be kept from growing. Had David overcome his lust and shown his children a faithful trust in God, Amnon, seeing such faith in his father, would also have mastered his desire for Tamar. He would have had the wisdom to see through wicked men like Jonadab. But the faith of David’s household had collapsed so far that any plan Satan made could succeed. David loved life, and he obeyed God’s word more than anyone; yet his sin brought down the lives of all his children. Had he spent all the time he gave to coveting Bathsheba, killing Uriah, and covering it up on raising his children in faith, his life would have been a success. He would have been honored by his people as king of Israel and lived in peace with children firmly grounded in faith.

David heard God’s judgment and still did not repent; he did not care for his household in faith, and he paid little attention to his children’s spiritual state. God had said that the sword that killed Uriah would not depart from David’s house, and that sword was forged from the evil nature that human lust and the lust of the eyes produce. Since God had said so, David should have thought far more deeply about Amnon’s request. He should have been on his guard and examined closely that strange demand that his half sister Tamar feed him food she had made with her own hands. There was one more thing: he had also heard the dreadful word that, just as he had taken Uriah’s wife, his own wives would be taken in broad daylight, and for that reason too he needed to be careful.

For a king to have his wives taken means that his kingdom falls or that his own life is in grave danger. Yet David had grown spiritually dull, and he was not wise. When Tamar did as Amnon asked and brought the cakes she had made herself to his bed, he tried to force her to lie with him, but she firmly refused. But everyone who could have helped her had gone out, and she had no way to escape Amnon.

Amnon saw Tamar not as someone to marry but as an object to satisfy his desire. Had he loved her, he would have asked his father’s permission to marry her; but because he did not love her, he satisfied himself and cast her aside.

When God trains his children, he uses isolation. He makes them break off relationships that do not help their spiritual growth, makes them forsake a world that props up human righteousness, and gives them deep spiritual insight. Satan imitates this method of God’s. God isolates his children to teach them endurance and obedience, while Satan isolates them to bring down their faith through anxiety, discontent, and pleasure. So when Satan tempts us, we must keep the word at the center, discern well, and never commit sin.

Here is how to discern Satan’s scheme: God’s isolation is not something you can choose, whereas Satan’s isolation is something you can choose at any time. Whoever discerns this well does not stray beyond God’s hedge.

2 Samuel 13:17-18

17Then he called his servant who ministered to him, and said, “Now put this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her.” 18She had a garment of various colors on her; for the king’s daughters who were virgins dressed in such robes. Then his servant brought her out and bolted the door after her.

Amnon, who until now had desperately wanted Tamar, called her “this woman,” treated her with no regard, and ordered his servants to throw her out. Once his desire was satisfied, Tamar was no longer precious to him. This is Satan’s typical behavior: he tempts believers by showing them the good things of the world until they stumble, but once they take hold of sin, he begins to handle them roughly and throws them into a pit of pain, sorrow, and misery.

Amnon reduced Tamar—his own sister, no less—to a tool for satisfying his desire. Yet because of this one episode, for a moment’s pleasure, he lost his own precious life. Tamar suffered this because she was powerless, and when we look at it, we see that had her father been a little wiser and more caring toward his daughter, his children’s lives would have turned out differently. The father’s indifference ruined his daughter’s life and made his son a murderer. I hope you will understand how much the faith of the head of a household matters.

Before she was violated, Tamar was a woman who shone with beauty; once violated, she lost her light and was shut up in darkness. In the same way, Satan casts off without a second thought anyone who has lost their faith. Because her father David was not full of the Spirit, he could not be a hedge around the daughter he loved; he handed her over to Amnon, who was in Satan’s grip. David was a great warrior, a wise man, and a prophet, yet he could not protect even one vulnerable daughter. Let us see in this how terrible sin is.

We must know that sin gives birth to more sin, and be on our guard. When David heard that Tamar had been raped and cast off, he should have held Amnon to account and made him pay the price; only that would have kept a greater tragedy from happening. Yet he took no action at all. Absalom, Tamar’s full brother, saw that his father, though he had heard what Amnon did, only grew angry and did nothing; he then made his own plan to kill Amnon. Perhaps David could not rebuke Amnon because Amnon had committed the same sin of adultery as he had. Amnon’s death is a sad event in which a greater trouble came about because sin forgave sin.

Unable to master his rage, Absalom plotted to kill Amnon. To bring Amnon to his house without arousing suspicion, he used his father David. Both sons, Amnon and Absalom, made use of a David no longer full of faith, and in that we see how foolish sin makes a person. Absalom begged David to come with his servants to his house on the day of sheep shearing and celebrate with him. Since every household in those days held a great feast on shearing day, inviting the family was entirely natural. But here David makes another serious mistake. When Absalom invited him, David declined, saying he feared that if he came too, he would be a burden to him. Then Absalom asked that, in his father’s place, he send his brother Amnon and the other brothers. Once again, without a second thought, David told Amnon to go to Absalom’s house with the other sons. David should have asked himself why Absalom, Tamar’s own brother, insisted that Amnon come, but again he sent Amnon off heedlessly. Absalom ordered his servants to kill Amnon when his heart was merry with wine. In David’s house, adultery was now followed by rape and murder. David knew better than anyone that Amnon had forcibly raped Tamar, and he knew that Amnon had cast her off in misery.

Why, then, could he send Amnon to Absalom, Tamar’s brother, who must have burned with anger watching her suffer? I truly cannot understand it. A father—no, any grown adult—ought to look at the whole matter before weighing it and deciding; but David had already lost all such wisdom. Only when he heard that Amnon was dead did David tear his clothes, lie on the ground, and wail. Until now David had always had the wisdom to solve problems before they arose, and for the problems he could not solve, he received God’s help. Now, though, he had grown spiritually dull: he had no wisdom to see ahead, and the zeal that once sent him first to God in prayer was gone.

If we keep the Holy Spirit at a distance as David did, we too may end up sitting in a place of pain.

So only by always meeting life with spiritual wisdom can we restore our relationship with God and fend off Satan’s attacks. When our relationship with God is damaged, we cannot make wise decisions, because we think through and weigh everything in the dark and cannot see beyond it. Whatever wise judgment and spiritual discernment you have had until now, you owe entirely to God’s grace. Because the Holy Spirit told you beforehand and made you understand, you could decide well and stay off the road of sin.

David was wailing, thinking all the king’s sons were dead, when Jonadab the son of Shimeah told him that the other sons were safe and only Amnon was dead.

Though his own scheme had led to the dreadful murder of Amnon, Jonadab calmly reported Amnon’s death to David, because he thought his own sin was perfectly hidden. The David of old, so discerning, would have uncovered Jonadab’s scheme and driven him out of the household. But now, with no power of discernment left, he could not see what sort of man Jonadab was and simply listened to him.

Here you see David suffering at Jonadab’s hands the very wickedness he himself had worked on Uriah when he lied to him, dreaming of the perfect crime. Blessing and sin are like a boomerang: they come back just as they were thrown. So you must live thinking carefully about which you will throw, blessing or sin.

Having killed his brother, Absalom fled to his mother’s family and hid there for three years. All at once David had lost two sons, and he now lived watching his daughter in despair. When he saw Bathsheba, he should have restrained himself; had he endured just once more and not killed Uriah, his children would not have suffered like this. We too live by God’s wonderful grace, yet Satan tempts us without end. Sometimes we resist his temptation firmly; sometimes greed sways us. There are times when we are full and times when we doubt; times when we rejoice and give thanks, and times when we resent God for not giving us more.

There are times when, even in a low place, we hold a faith that overcomes the world, and times when, though placed high, we crave still more. There are times when we would lay down our lives to save souls, and times when we would throw salvation away to satisfy our greed. There are times when we truly sacrifice ourselves to repay grace, and times when we betray for our own comfort. Being human, we sometimes win and sometimes lose. But this we must keep in mind: we must lean all the more on God, who always works the same, and abstain from every form of sin. Otherwise, like David, not only we ourselves but our children may come to share the pain. If David had listened a little more closely to God’s word, if he had feared God a little more, his children would not have been so unhappy.

That is how much it matters for you to live a single day as you should, because that day affects not only your own life but your children’s as well. If you serve God in faith, Satan can never deceive you.

May you always live wisely by the word, helping not only yourselves but every soul around you, as God’s holy people.